July 6th

(For this very teenage-like post, please remember that my current boyfriend’s name is Dylan, and that my ex is JD.)
Funny how I wrote that whole thing about you and then there you were at a cookout I went to a few nights later.  I really didn’t think you’d come since you knew I was going. It was weird. It was weird seeing you again. Like actually seeing you, not just in pictures on Facebook that your new girlfriend posts. You were different than I remember. You looked different. You talked different. Then I met your eyes and saw that it was still you. A person’s eyes never change.

I found myself glad that I had dressed up and done my makeup. Halfway through the cookout, I decided to friend request you on Facebook (after literally just deleting you days before. ) You accepted my request and immediately messaged me and asked me why I had deleted you in the first place.
I told you the truth. It was weird having you on my Facebook. We’re pretty much strangers now, yet you being my Facebook friend meant that you could still get a look inside my life.

We messaged for an hour or so that night. Once again, you tried to start things between me and my boyfriend, Dylan, but by the end of the night, we more or less agreed that we missed each other’s friendship and that we wanted to try and stay in touch.
(Spoiler alert, we’ve barely talked since)

Dylan is convinced that you messaged me because you still have feelings for me. I don’t know if I agree. You blatantly said that you didn’t, but at the same time, you were trying to start shit between us again.

Here’s a rundown of some of what JD said to me during our Facebook conversation:
So about two years ago, JD somehow got a job working with one of my best friends, we will call him Isaiah. Isaiah and JD became friends. Now we all kinda mingle today in the same social group, it’s weird, but we somehow managed to not run into each other at all for the past two years until the cookout the other night.
Anyway, the other night, JD told me that a year and a half ago, Dylan went to Isaiah and said that if I didn’t “make a change”, then he was going to leave me. According to JD, the “change” was that Dylan wanted me to lose weight.
Additionally, Dylan supposedly said that he wanted to bring me around JD to see how I’d react in order to surmise if I still had feelings for him.

I confronted Dylan about it at the cookout, he said things were misinterpreted and blah blah blah. I dropped it. I didn’t feel like talking about it anymore.
But, here I am thinking about it, days later. Maybe JD really does have my best interests at heart, maybe he really is trying to keep me from being hurt.
Honestly though, Dylan has every reason to want to bring me around JD to see my reaction…

In the beginning of me and Dylan’s relationship, I broke up with Dylan for a few days to try things with JD again. I ended up back with Dylan but it almost happened a second time. I almost left Dylan TWICE to get back with the same guy. So I don’t see any reason why I should be angry at him for wanting to see how I’d react around him after not seeing him for two years.

I don’t know…

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